Our attendants

	Cristina Francois	Maid of Honor	"running out the door without any clothes on..."
	Dan Potter	Best Man	"[his brain] is ultra powerful, like Spock's..."
	Dan Danczyk	Groomsman	"we have been like peas and carrots..."
	Jaclyn Francois	Bridesmaid	"knows how to work a crowd..."
	Ray Gabbard	Groomsman	"likes long walks in the rain and cuddling..."
	Lisa (Romans) Moore	Bridesmaid	"we got along just fine until she learned how to talk..."

People not invited to be attendants

	George Lucas (aka "The Beard") Why: Revisionist Luke scream and 'shoot second' Han Solo, general mucking up of Parts One and Two, no original-trilogy DVDs
	Jamie Oliver Why: Once the hip "Naked Chef", now Sainsbury's grocery shill.
	David Beckham Why: Pretty-boy pansy
	Denver Nuggets Why: Perpetual mediocrity